Ferrets in Gutters
by Hughesh4hercules
Summary: Ferrets In Gutters, the new age response to the old cat in tree dilemma. No ferrets were harmed in the making of this story Detective Jonathan Kent helps a citizen, and her pet, to the best of his ability. A Mon-El story.


He had heard of cats being stuck in trees, but never of ferrets in rain gutters. Of course, that could be because he was still new, but his co-workers had a tendency to spin a number of fanciful tales. In the short time since he joined the force, he had heard such things that even he could not believe. And his capacity for credulity was enormous. The common stories were of cats in trees, dogs in wells, alligators in sewers and one particularly eye opening story involving a chipmunk and a vet's prosthetic leg.

There was no call in for this, just him on patrol and stopping to see why a small crowd had gathered. After a hasty parking job – it was a bit on the sidewalk but he'd been told that cops could get away with it – he made his way to the spectacle. In this case, it was a young girl of about ten or so who was crouched down at the end of a drain. Her mouth was pressed close to the opening and she was calling, "Mr. Wiggles!" When he made his way to her, a woman that he presumed to be the girl's mother intercepted him. "Ah! Officer, I'm so glad you're here, could you help us?" She wrung her hands together nervously.

Jon did not bother to correct her that his title was Detective and not Officer, not only would it be rude and insensitive, but it really did not matter to him how people addressed him. He had enough names – Lar Gand, Mon-El, Jonathan Kent – that he was willing to answer to just about anything. "That is my job, Ma'am." Given her obvious distress, he gave her his best smile and nodded his head respectfully.

She managed a wan smile in return, before explaining the situation. "I told the movers to be careful, but somehow Mr. Wiggles got out of her cage and out of the house. I think she went up the drain…" Although her words started out rushed, she petered out at the end and started fingering one of the buttons on the sleeve cuff of her light coat. "We're supposed to be leaving right now, but Lisa won't leave without Mr. Wiggles and I don't have the heart to say no." Her tone was entreating, and if she did not have the heart to say no, than Jon most certainly did not either.

"And Mr. Wiggles is a–?"

"Ferret."

"Ah."

A pet ferret named Mr. Wiggles, then. Actually, a female, pet ferret named Mr. Wiggles. Jon tried to take it all in stride, but his confusion must have showed on his face. The lady managed a small apologetic smile. "Lisa named Mr. Wiggles when she was five. She was a birthday present from her father." She seemed sad, which made Jon want to help them out even more.

"I will do everything I can to help, Mrs…?"

"_Miss_ Jackson, Ellis Jackson." She corrected him sternly, even though she was not even ten years older than him, if he guessed right. She was also easily half a foot shorter than him, and slight of frame, but her tone was a perfect mimicry of how his school teachers used to correct him.

He ducked his head and looked sheepish, "Miss Jackson," he looked up and grinned again, although somewhat abashed still, he offered a slightly cheeky, "The offer still stands." She laughed; it was a brittle and strained one, but a laugh nonetheless.

Leaving behind Miss Jackson, he crouched down next to Lisa. "Hello." She pulled away from staring up the drain pipe, and he could see tear tracks on her face.

Softly she answered back, "Hi." Her voice wobbled, probably a mix of physical and emotional strain. That did not stop her from whispering "You sound funny." Jon did not say 'So do you.' but that did not stop him from thinking it.

"Is that so? This is how people sound where I am from." The conversation did not seem to distract her from the missing pet, so Jon tried a new topic. "Did you know I'm a detective?"

Lisa shot him a look of reproach that only little kids can manage, one that said 'I'm _ten_ not _five_'. "How could I know that, stu– silly?" He had almost gotten called stupid by a ten year old girl; it was turning out to be such a nice day. Silly just about summed up how he felt at the moment, so he did not refute it.

"I just told you." He pointed out. She did not appear to appreciate the humor, so he rushed on to add, "The point is that I am going to find Mr. Wiggles." This time he kept a straight face at the name, but he figured that he would not be able to the next time he tried. "No ferret stays missing on my watch!" Lisa did not seem terribly impressed, but at least she did not look to be on the verge of tears anymore. It was a definite improvement, and he would take whatever he could get.

Perhaps he was treating her like a little kid, with his slightly over the top good cheer, but he had not been around little kids since his younger sister was one. And that had been over a decade ago. "Your ferret went up this drain?" He questioned.

"Her name is Mr. Wiggles, not 'your ferret'."

He could not help but stare a bit in amazement. Lisa corrected him in the same exact tone that her mother had used moments earlier. Clearly he had to work on his skill with ladies, or else he faced a long life ahead of him where every woman would forever remind him of a mix of school teacher and his mother. He made a mental note that 'names are important to females of the species' and tried to pick his line of questioning where it had left off. "… Mr. Wiggles entered this drain pipe?"

"Yeah…" Lisa seemed to shrink in on herself, causing Jon a momentary panic that he would have a crying girl on his hands, before she pulled herself together, "Why would I be watching this pipe if she had gone up another one? _I'm_ not stupid." Her tone indicated that while she knew she was not stupid, she was not so sure about Detective Kent's intelligence.

Jon tried to not let it get to him, instead noting dryly, "Ever think of being a detective when you grow up?"

They had a brief stare down, wherein Jon tried to look as innocent as possible, while Lisa eyed him with suspicion. After a moment, she looked away, not finding what she was looking for in his face. He sighed as he relaxed, well aware that he had been let off the hook. Now that her brave bluster was spent, she just looked defeated.

"We're moving to New York," She started, almost in as small a voice as she had in the beginning, "I don't wanna leave Mr. Wiggles behind. I need her, she's all I have."

Jon empathized, knowing what it felt like to be in a new place where you had no one. Not having Mr. Wiggles would be the same as him not having Clark around. Jon skipped over the fact that he just equated Superman to a pet ferret with gender issues. "Don't worry," His soft voice almost matched hers in intensity, but where hers sounded lost and alone, his was warm with comfort and promises, "I said I would find Mr. Wiggles, did I not?"

Looking up at the building, he added in a conspiratorial way, "I have an idea."

It was that idea that ended up with him climbing out of the top floor's skylights. Truly, he could have gone to the back of the building and flown up to the roof, but Lisa insisted on coming. They had set Miss Jackson on drain pipe watching duties, just in case Mr. Wiggles decided to come down that way. Most of the crowd seemed to have dispersed once Detective Kent and Lisa went in the building, not knowing that said detective was about to be crawling around on the roof. Well, he would avoid crawling if at all possible. Once he was out of sight he intended to use all his powers. He had already ascertained with his x-ray vision that the ferret was not in the pipe anymore, but was instead gallivanting around on the roof.

The tenets of this flat let him in, and he had grabbed a ladder from the manager. Lisa, although a somewhat pragmatic child, had not questioned how he knew there would be skylights on the building or that he knew he would need a ladder while they were still in the lobby. In no time, he was up on the shingled roof. He used his flight to hover just an inch or so above the disintegrating roofing, and looked around with hopes of easily closing out his first and likely last missing ferret case.

"Ah-ha!" He said to himself, quickly hovering over the apex of the angled roof and to the other side. "Mr. Wiggles, you are going to come with me into protective custody until such time as I can return you to your legal guardian." The ferret had decided that the gutter's long U-shape made for the perfect place to nap all stretched out. It would be a simple matter to pull the ferret's limp, sleeping form out. He was just congratulating himself on a job well done when things went south.

The ferret woke up.

Perhaps it was the instinct of a hunted animal to wake up right before it knows it can be captured, perhaps his cast shadow alerted the twitchy animal to his presence. Either way, the ferret made a run for it. If he knew his strength and speed better, he could easily have outpaced Mr. Wiggles and picked her up. However, he did not want to explain to Lisa how he crushed her ferret. The ferret vanished down the drain, the only cover it could find.

A few moments later, he could hear Miss Jackson triumphantly cry, "I got her! I _got_ her!" Jon shook his head ruefully before heading back over the roof. So he didn't save the ferret, but all that mattered was that the ferret was saved. Right?


End file.
